This is probably more frustrating than curious, but it's becoming prevalent and I'm downright sick of it.
Is it just me, or are dress-codes becoming more incoherent and harder to apply than ever before? I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but I have received several invites and have stumbled upon several neat and nondescript signs at the front of various establishments, informing me that a range of dress-codes are in place. I have a few problems with this.
1. What on earth does “Smart Casual” mean?
It isn’t the fact that I don’t understand the concept, well it is but that can be the topic of a whole other blog post, but it’s to what degree the code applies. It’s like saying you need to have warm water. I know what warm water involves – a happy balance of hot and cold, but how much exactly of either do I put in, and what exact temperature should the water be? You see my problem. There is “Smart”, which involves suits and ties and polished leather shoes, and there is “Casual” which entails t-shirts and jeans or shorts, open toes footwear, hooded jackets, etc. So Smart-Casual would suggest that there is some kind of blend of the two styles. So technically you could wear a t-shirt under a suit or sport jacket with jeans and runners…? Right? WRONG. You see, if you wear this outfit you can be sure when you arrive at the function that everyone will be wearing polished leather shoes (except the creepy computer nerd milling about the drinks table telling unsuspecting victims how he saw the real Captain Kirk in Las Vegas at a Star Trek convention and bought the metallic space pod boots he is currently wearing from a stall at the convention too). So it’s you and the metallic boot wearer, you’re in the same boat.. Eek. So how exactly are people supposed to know to what degree you can dress “Casual” without losing the “Smart” factor? I have no idea, thus this ‘Smart-Casual’ nonsense needs to stop.
2. Why can’t girls wear open-toed high-heels in many establishments?
Okay, this I don’t get. You can wear delicate shoes that allow you to perch your entire body weight on the heel surface area of a pinhead, but if those weapons of mass destruction have opened toed shoes it’s, “I’m sorry madam, you’ll just have to stay outside tonight, we have a strict no-toe policy”. To be honest, if the girl’s going to do any damage to herself, it’ll be self inflicted by breaking her leg after toppling down a staircase or rolling into a fireplace after snapping one of the narrow heels on a chair leg. I can understand no thongs or sandals, they are ugly, display less-than-charming toe and foot hair, and belong on the beach, but some of these heels are anything but ugly. I think this ridiculous and unthoughtful code of dressing needs to be reconsidered and revoked.
3. The issue of the collar.
Some places will only allow patrons to enter if they are wearing a collared shirt (this applies to men only, of course). So what if I don’t have a collar? What do they prove? Some of my t-shirts are worth more than some collared shirts I own, so it can’t be a ‘cost’ thing? Apparently it has something to do with the image of a collar. It appears collars mean high-class and good-taste. Really…..? I thought they just meant having an extra 4×30 strip of backed cotton attached to your neck. I mean, these shirts are usually unaccompanied by a tie and they are quite often unbuttoned a fair way down a man’s chest anyway, so where’s the good-taste and glamour in that? Personally, I like shirts, love them in fact. I wear one out all the time. But why should you be disallowed access just because you do not have one on, even though you are allowed to wear jeans and sneakers to the same venue? It just doesn’t make any sense. However, I am thinking of patenting the ‘apply anywhere’ collar. It’s a nifty little collar that be clipped onto any existing t-shirt to instantly make it collared, just in case..
These are three things I have been festering over, and I’m glad it’s out. What are your thoughts? Do you agree/disagree? I’d love to hear what you think, drop me a line and add a comment.